Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
