I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
