i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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