So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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