I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
