I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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