found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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