I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
