Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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