who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
