dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
