Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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