Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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