Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
