But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
be right there i have to get my cape
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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