SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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