The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
