I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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