Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
