am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
