Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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