whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
