OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
