Your tits are I can't wait for
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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