I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
not ubering you a puppy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
