I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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