This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
