I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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