I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
