Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
