She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
