Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
