And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
