What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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