Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
