lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
