the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
do nipples grow back?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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