please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize