I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
