im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
