Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
