We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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