can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
