her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
PANTIES FOUND
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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