Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
