happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize