what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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