yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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