there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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