I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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