DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
