Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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