Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
