I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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