There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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