I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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