I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
