We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
