I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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