I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
