her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
