I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
